I thought it would be rude to interrupt her! I haven't spoken to my wife in four years.What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.Am I the only man my wife has ever dated? Unfortunately, yes, she said the others were all nines or tens!.How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.How do you follow Will Smith in the Mud? Follow the fresh prints.How do you measure the mass of an influencer's following? By Instagrams!.How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps? You slowly get over it.What did the seal with one fin say to the shark? If seal is broken, do not consume.What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday.How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.What concert would cost only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!.Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, houses can't jump.I have a clean conscious-it's never been used.If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?.What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it!.Try the seafood diet-you see food, then you eat it.Stop looking for the perfect match use a lighter.Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your friends and family-you're guaranteed to get a laugh! ![]() Maybe he'll surprise Ree (who has the best mom jokes, we should add). These one-liners, puns, and funny jokes for kids are appropriate for any time of day, month, or year! We're sure that Ree Drummond's husband Ladd appreciates a cheesy dad joke-he loves a good prank, after all. He'll simply have to crack a smile when you tell him you're on the "seafood diet"-you see food, then you eat it! (Get it?) And if you're struggling with finding gifts for dad this year, frame a special picture of the two of you with a DIY card that says: "What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be." We've gathered the best dad jokes to share with your old man on any occasion, whether that's one of his Father's Day messages or simply a good morning text. Other times they're endearing! And you know what? Some dad jokes are so bad that they're actually funny. Dip into Miriam Webster Dictionary, and you'll find that a dad joke is a bit of "wholesome" humor that tends to have a punch line that's "an obvious or predictable pun or play on words." Sound like your Pa or Grandpa's sense of humor? As much as we tend to roll our eyes at them, cringe-worthy or corny one-liners are a childhood staple. □) But really, as silly as it sounds, that answer is half true. What's the difference between a regular joke and a dad joke? When the punch line becomes a parent! (Cue the polite laughter.
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